Hospitalization & God's Perfect Timing

After I finished my meds from the 2nd cycle of Xeloda, I fully expected to feel crummy for a few days. Sure enough, I started to feel crummy. I would compare my symptoms to others that were in a Xeloda group I had joined on FB. It confirmed my symptoms and timing. It was very common to feel worse on the off week because you now have 2 weeks of meds that have built up in your system that are wreaking havoc. The three most common side effects of Xeloda are Hand Foot Syndrome, tiredness, and diarrhea. I had all three. Each day I kept thinking, “Tomorrow I should start feeling better.” I spent the weekend on the coach, barely moving, barely eating, and barely drinking. It’s easy to think, “Oh, I’ll just force myself to eat or drink.” Yeah, good luck with that. I look up my symptoms/side effects and see it’s nothing unexpected. Unpleasant, yes, unexpected, not so much. Just for your own reference, here’s a list of SOME of the Xeloda side effects from WebMD.

“Nausea, vomiting, loss of appetite, constipation, tiredness, weakness, headache, dizziness, trouble sleeping, or changes in taste may occur. Nausea and vomiting can be severe. In some cases, your doctor may prescribe medication to prevent or relieve nausea and vomiting.”

Up to that point, I’d had all of those side effects over the weekend except for vomiting. Monday morning I just felt a little different, so I randomly decided to take my temperature, and bingo, 102+ temp here I go. Who knows if I had a temp over the weekend. I called the doctor with my list of issues. Random fact, apparently I can’t video chat with my doctor because we are in different states. I practically live on the state line, I feel this is a bit ridiculous, but what do I know? Anyway, the doctor wants me to get blood work at a local hospital to make sure it isn’t something serious. A friend took me for the bloodwork, which came back okay. I was told to update them in the morning with how I was doing. I sent a message in mychart in the morning with my symptoms. I added vomiting to the list, plus everything else I’d been documenting. The nurse called and her exact words when I answered were, “Oh Crystal, you’re a trainwreck.” Oddly enough, it made me feel better. It justified to me that something was definitely going on, and it wasn’t just something I needed to suffer through. They moved my 3:30 appt up to 1:30 so that I could get fluids after the appointment before infusion closed for the day. 

Once at the doctors office, a repeat of bloodwork still didn’t show anything concerning. She laid out 2 options. Option 1 - Go down to infusion, get some fluids, and if that’s all it took, we were good to go. If it didn’t work, I’d go to the ER. Option 2 - Go to ER where they can give me fluids, do an infectious blood workup, and I don’t have to worry about them closing. I can be down there as long as needed. The doctor really wanted option 2, and I knew that was the option I needed to go with. They asked me if I wanted to walk out and we drive around to the ER or if I wanted to go in the wheelchair. I had no interest in walking any farther than I had to. I’m not that proud. I was exhausted and didn’t care. I took the wheelchair ride while Brad drove around to meet us. 

It took about 30 minutes to get into the ER, but they hooked me up with a lot of fluids, IV antibiotics, bloodwork, warm blankets, and a really comfy gurney. The biggest concern was figuring out what was causing the fever. Deciding which of my symptoms were actually from the Xeloda, and which ones were being caused by something else. At one point I couldn’t stop shaking and shivering. I figured this was due in part to not being used to the air conditioning, plus they were pushing fluids into me about as fast as they could. I got a few more warm blankets and then slept a little while. Then I got really warm for a while. They decided to admit me because they knew something else was going on, with the fever, chills, sweats and everything else. 

I was certainly feeling better after the fluids, but there was no doubt that I was not great. After a long night of being woken up frequently to take meds and check vitals, results came back in the morning that I had C-Diff, something I’m pretty familiar with from working in the hospital. It’s a bacteria that hangs out in your intestines. It is contagious, but only through your 💩, so you do the math on that one. The vast majority of people that come down with it, get it as a result of being on antibiotics. I was on massive doses of clindamycin for quite a while. I made sure to eat plenty of yogurt while on it, but it wasn't enough. Clindamycin will basically wipe out all the good bacteria in your gut, leaving other bad bacteria to take over, which is what happened in my case. So, we now had an answer to the fever, and we had an antidote. An expensive little pill that is pretty much only used to treat C-Diff. 

The great thing about staying in the hospital is that there is a great selection of food, even if I did pick at it. I got to order lots of fruit, which made me happy. The downside is the mattress I had was the most uncomfy thing. It had a packed down, off center, depression in the middle of the mattress that couldn’t be avoided. I couldn’t hardly sleep there. It was partly because of the mattress and my room couldn’t be made dark, but I swear one of the meds was messing with my sleep/visions every time I closed my eyes to sleep. I also got a room with no bathroom. Go figure. Let’s put the c-diff patient in a room with no restroom so she has to use the commode. I didn’t even know patient rooms without bathrooms existed in the developed world. 1st world problems I guess. 

Funny thing about the symptoms of c-diff, they are mostly the same as the side effects of Xeloda: severe diarrhea, fever, stomach tenderness or pain, loss of appetite, nausea. The only symptom I didn’t have was stomach tenderness. Which is why my oncologist ordered the c-diff test right away, but we had to wait for results. 

My blood cultures have all come back negative, so that also tells us it was only the c-diff causing all the problems. After being admitted Tuesday night, I got to come home Thursday. I lost about 12 pounds throughout this ordeal. But I consider that my chemo weight that I had gained since September. I’m not eager to gain those 12 pounds back. I’m actually closer to what I weighed a year ago, so I’ll take that. I’m slowly getting my appetite back. I’m drinking some Ensure Clear drinks the nutritionists recommended that are pretty good. I’m picking food that is easy on the gut and protein that is easily digested. 

Throughout this whole process of being sick and admitted I just kept thanking God for his timing. This could have happened during the school year, but it didn’t. It could have happened on the weekend I went to visit my Grandfather in TN who isn’t doing well, but it didn’t. It could have happened while camping, which is scheduled here shortly, but it didn’t. It could have happened when the family was gathering at Pokagon this year, but it didn’t. I’m so thankful for God’s timing. It just reminds me again that He is in control. Whatever may happen, and whenever it happens, His hand is in it one way or another, in ways you may or may not ever see.  We just have to trust in Him. Even when it’s hard. Even when it’s not what we want. Even if it breaks our heart. After all, this world is just a temporary home. The next one is going to be so much better.