3rd Week - AC Treatment

My heart-shaped mark on the back of my head. Taken while I was fixing spaghetti.

I’m going to sum up most of the week as a whole, rather than by each day. I did much better this time around after my chemo than the 1st time around. (If you remember, I had the port put in the day before my 1st chemo treatment.) Again, the steroids certainly helped on those first few days, but I only have them for a few days. So once they’re out, I notice a big difference in energy. The kind of difference where you just need to sit a rest after taking a shower. The one night I made spaghetti for dinner. I pulled a chair in front of the stove, browned the beef, warmed the sauce, boiled the spaghetti, put the garlic bread in the oven. I sat more than I stood while everything cooked. Brad asked several times if I wanted help, but I was insistent that I do this myself. By the time it was ready, I was exhausted. He did the clean up. Days like that make me feel justified about not being in the classroom. I honestly don’t think I could be in teacher mode for 9 hours everyday the week after chemo. I could make it through a portion of a day here and there, but teaching requires more than I could give it physically and mentally during that week. About day 9, I actually have the energy and brain power to start accomplishing things, but I’ve also noticed that’s the day when I start getting back spasms when I sit, which I’ve never really experienced before. I have my share of lower back issues, and I often have back pain, but it’s strange that on Day 9 of my first 2 chemo cycles, I have back pain. Our guess is that all the steroids I get on Days 1-4 takes all the inflammation and everything out of my low back, which would also be the reason I don’t have back pain the week I live on the couch. Then after a few days of no steroids, the inflammation starts coming back, and so does the back pain. That’s our theory at least. 

Early in the week I washed my hair. I lost an insane amount of hair. My sides are shaved, so it all came from the top. I kinda decided that day that I would not be washing again while it’s long. So sometime towards the end of week, I’d shave it. As hair slowly escaped the french braid on my head, there would be a ridiculous amount of hair on my pillow in the morning, and on the shoulders throughout the day. I was so over it and ready to shave it by mid week. There’s this thing “scalp pain” that some people go through when losing their hair due to chemo. I had noticed the top of my head being tender whenever I touched it. Needless to say, I was cringing when Brad ran the clippers over the top of my head. But I was glad it was done. Then I had to look at myself in the mirror. I can’t quite pull off the looks of Demi Moore in GI Jane or Charlize Theron in Mad Max. I did decide I looked better with my glasses on than my contacts. I just didn’t look like me. I wasn’t sad, or upset, or angry, or anything. I was just kinda like, “Well, time to break out the bandanas, because this looks funky.” Ironically, I’d started wearing bandanas a lot during You-Know-What last spring, and I had just ordered some from Amazon in late summer. So thankfully I’m pretty stocked up on headcovers between those and the fabric I picked up at Jo-Ann's. 

This is one days hair loss from washing my hair.

I want to take a moment and thank you for all of the cards, meals, and gifts I have received. It amazes me how good people are. After all the negative and annoying junk we’ve been through in 2020, I love that there are so many people who genuinely care. It’s a little glimpse of heaven on Earth when you are on the receiving end of so much love. People I know well, people I know through someone else, and in some cases, people I don’t know at all are being like Jesus in their generosity and compassion. Jesus didn’t spend his time with the rich and well known. Jesus spent his time with the average and even the hated people of society. He truly loved everyone, and he showed indescribable compassion to those that everyone else in society rejected. Recently, I have felt more like someone who hasn’t done enough in the past to show that love to others. As others continue to pour their love on me, I am determined that when I get through this, I will be the one pouring Jesus’s love onto others tenfold. I already have ideas running through my head of what I want to do for those in need. I can’t wait. 

Episode 6 of The Chosen is called "Indescribable Compassion." It shows Jesus healing a leaper. The casting, writing, and acting of this show is truly amazing. You will not find it on TV, Netflix, Amazon, or any of the traditional outlets. It is only available through their website and apps. It is also available for free. It is a completely crowd sourced show, which means they have the freedom of doing it right, and not being controlled by Hollywood. Watch the clip below and if you want to watch more, here are the links.

The Chosen Website The Chosen IOS App           The Chosen Android App